Life's History

As my blog has been started over and changed around I thought I'd get a little of my life history in before all the other malarkey that will be posted in here in time.

Urgh a history of yourself? Booorring!

Yep, maybe but one person's scrap is another person's treasure... Aaaand as this will be sorted out onto my main website so I might as well get an introduction/history of myself in so you might get a little more of who I am.

So I supposed I'd better start at the beginning... Ish. I'll skip the baby half and just say I was in one place and moved to another when I was 2 1/2 years old to an island in the South East of the UK. There I grew up with lovely friends over the years and lived a sheltered life due to a mum with safety worries. You could say that's not great but I guess when you lose kids it can kinda make you that way with the ones that are still alive.

Anyway... I was sheltered and didn't really get to go far on my own growing up. So hanging with friends from school didn't happen much really unless they lived close by. Most of my time was consumed by my art, school/college, music and gaming. In that time I saw the loss of loved ones and lovely neighbours over the years. One of which got me in a very sad state. I became physically ill and with a form of depression that lasted for many, many years. I don't think it has necessarily left me but I've managed and carried on with the things I enjoyed most. The music, gaming, art... And cars/driving. Over the years it pretty much stayed that way until I met someone online and ended up moving to the mid-west of the UK. It was where I opened up a bit and starting to really grow up.

Now saying I've grown up... Yeah, that's lost to me. Sure I can do 'adult' things like pay bills and do chores and such... But to me, I'm still a kid and always will. Give me a bouncy castle, kids film, fun game or hang around other big kids and I'd fit right in. Shove me in a business meeting or a stressful job and as much as I can also deal with that, I would feel trapped. My mind likes to be the playful child it has always been. Young in mind, body and soul. Sod all these plans, payments and stuff and let's dance around the room YAY!.... Ahem...

Moving on...I stayed in the midwest for about 5 years. In that time family moved about a bit and I was back and forth sometimes to Mid-east to visit them sometimes and then after that time ended up moving back to my family when situations changed. I re-met an old college friend and went back and forth between home and The south of the UK for 4 years being a bit of a big kid again because someone knew me as I really once was. I also met someone I'm close to at that time back at home so I ended up with a small friend group. Which was nice as it felt like I was a bit alone at the time. Again things moved on and I ended up staying more back home after things changing and I got closer to the person I met at home.

From them, I got to open out a bit more but in travel, a thing I wanted to do when I was a kid when everyone was going to school trips and I'd be left behind because we were too poor for that. They also opened me up to a more relaxed lifestyle that I hadn't had since childhood.

Closer to the present day, I was told my dad had cancer... I had dealt with it through the family over the years as well as neighbours I used to know. It choked me up as I'm such a daddy's girl. I went to where he retired to in Spain and for 6 months stayed there to take care of him and in between would enjoy some things like a water park or enjoy listening to Armin Van Buuren live at a music festival there. It was hard but it was good to get the time to be with dad. When seeing him and taking care of him I travelled with my closest partner/pal via the roads and got to see other places I wouldn't have seen by plane alone. My dad was so happy in me doing so as he wanted me to see life and culture outside the UK and I was all for it. When I left to go home we took a long way back and it was so good. The landscapes cultures and people... I loved it.

A few months after I was home I was told the cancer spread... So I set up everything along with my aunt to leave... Then the night of the flight I was told my dad passed away. Even now I don't find it easy to fully explain my feelings of loss. Like my friend said to me, under the circumstances you go through, you are a very strong person. I know I look at it and deal with things in a way that does make me 'strong'... But underneath I'm still a child that has lost the dad in daddy's girl and that makes one very sad big kid feeling very alone. I know I'm not alone in this but like with all human beings, we are all different and the relationships we have with other humans is just like a fingerprint. Still very much a unique thing to each individual.

At the present moment, I am in the UK hoping that the processes for my dad's things finally get sorted and done as it's taken so long that even my dad would be sad how it's worked out. I have taken myself away from the usual work-life of retail and other 9-12 hour jobs to relieve myself from stress a bit while I have things going on and I have turned to the love of my music games and art to keep me going not only mentally but also to keep me going financially. In my head, I said I wouldn't do that and keep it as my hobbies but right now they've become a thing to keep me sane and going. I'm sure I'll carry on doing so until it feels better to be back as a hobby or something else. Either way I know my art, music, gaming, travel, cars and the people I love will still be there no matter what and that if any of the creativity and/or friendship I give makes you happy then I've done a good job... And that in turn makes me smile.

.... Soooo that's my life so far... Sorry, it got a bit morbid at the end. I've cut it down a lot as there's a lot more than that of me but then that's something for you all to find out at some time in the future. :)


If you wish to, you can follow me and/or look at my Etsy store/ watch my live streams gaming then the links are on the side of this web page. If you wish to buy a piece of art by all means do so. It'll help me out a lot or if you wish to donate to keep me going then there's a donate link on my twitch channel. all you need to do is click on the twitch link on the side and then the Donate on the descriptions either on the side of that twitch channel page or below it.

Peace and Love to you all,
Laura/ Mirrageofhope